July 21, 2014

Well I am going to be honest...this week was the hardest week of my whole mission.  This transfer has been difficult, but this week was so so hard for me.  At the beginning of the week, we had six people who were ready to be baptized this coming Saturday.  

However, as the week progressed, one by one the baptisms fell through.  

We had baptisms for children and their mom decided not to give permission even though she had given permission in the past.

We had one investigator who drank coffee even though he told us earlier he doesn’t like coffee.

We had one investigator who decided randomly to go on vacation and we had no idea.

And then the hardest one was Wyctor, who decided he doesn’t want to continue participating with the Church at all.  We saw him the next day on the street and said hi but he wouldn’t even talk to us.

I didn’t really care about having the baptisms, but it’s really hard to see people reject something that will be such a huge blessing in their lives.  Things like this really really hurt when you are a missionary.  I don’t think I have ever felt so lonely in my whole life.  Thoughts of ´´If only you were better with Portugues, this wouldn’t have happened´´ kept running through my head this whole week. 

However, in the midst of it all, I learned some beautiful lessons.  I learned we are here to learn to become like our Heavenly Father.  Heavenly Father feels disappointed at times with the choices of His children, and so in order to become like Him, we have to feel the same way at times.  I learned the atonement of Christ truly is there to help us when we feel lonely.  I learned comfort and peace can come through sincere prayer and scripture study.  I learned it’s a choice to feel discouraged.  I learned there is always something to be grateful for.

I am grateful for how tough this week was, because I truly don’t think I have ever learned so much so quickly.  My testimony was strengthened and fortified daily by the healing words of Christ in the scriptures.  Sorry all of this is sounding really dramatic, but I just want everyone who reads this to know we will have trials and difficulties in our lives but everything will be made right through the atonement of Christ.  I may not have had the most success on my mission or been the best missionary out there, but I have gained a testimony of the gospel throughout my time here and to me, that is worth everything!

I love the lyrics to this hymn:

Does the journey seem long,

The path rugged and steep?

Are there briars and thorns on the way?

Do sharp stones cut your feet

As you struggle to rise

To the heights thru the heat of the day?

Is your heart faint and sad,

Your soul weary within,

As you toil ’neath your burden of care?

Does the load heavy seem

You are forced now to lift?

Is there no one your burden to share?

Let your heart be not faint

Now the journey’s begun;

There is One who still beckons to you.

So look upward in joy

And take hold of his hand;

He will lead you to heights that are new—

A land holy and pure,

Where all trouble doth end,

And your life shall be free from all sin,

Where no tears shall be shed,

For no sorrows remain.

Take his hand and with him enter in.

Sister Moscoso and I will stay together this transfer and we are feeling hopeful for the great things that will happen.  It was hard for us both, but I know blessings come to those who wait upon the Lord.  

We will be staying here in Cidade Vargas and I really can’t believe I am starting my last twelve weeks.  The time really flies!  President also called me to be a sister training leader here which I am pretty nervous about but I know it will help me to grow and progress even more.  Keep me in your prayers!  

Sorry this e-mail was so scattered and random, but I am grateful for all of you who support and love me and the gospel.  Have a great week!

Sister Dixon